The Rom-Com Theory

I’m very lucky to have a good group of friends – the “Inner Circle,” as they’ve come to be known throughout this process. When I’m stressing out and on the ledge, they can always talk me off with good sense and logic. And, the occasional theory.

In this case, the situation that put me on the ledge was finding out that Fairfax Cryobank is sold out of James Bond. I only have one vial left from my original order, and they need two to do the IVF (one serves as a backup). But, when I went to Fairfax’s website, I found out that there is a waitlist for that donor. I panicked. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I dragged out the old profiles from the Donor Party, and pulled out the one for the runner-up, the “Everyday Joe” from California Cryobank. I checked their site, and he has plenty of vials left. But I didn’t know if I should go ahead and order his vials, or start the process all over again, since there have been many new donors added.

There was no time for another Donor Party (I would need the sample next week), and I dreaded doing all the legwork of searching the profiles that I had to do last time. I talked to Keith, and he said, “Well, this guy was second right? So, if James Bond didn’t exist, you would have chosen him.” See, good logic. But, being me, I needed more input, so I put it to the Inner Circle in a private Facebook message. The response was unanimous. As my friend, Maria, put it: “Order Now!” But, my friend Tracy probably put it best: “Use the rom/com approach. It’s never the one she plans on, who looks perfect on paper. It’s that other guy, the dark horse, who turns out to be the one.”

And our Everyday Joe was definitely the dark horse in Sperm Madness. In fact, it had earned him the nickname, “Cinderella” because he was the underdog who made it all the way to the Championship Round. From one round to the next, he didn’t seem memorable, but every time he was pitted against an opponent, he always came out on top. So I decided that Tracy had the perfect view on it. James Bond looked great on paper, and he was the guy the bank staff swooned over. But Cinderella is “the Enduring Optimist” who “radiates positivity.” He’s tall and athletic and, while not possessed of supermodel looks, was an adorable kid.

Cinderella did have one thing working against him in the original head-to-head competition. His father had colorectal cancer at age 50. As I stated in the Sperm Madness entry, I had my concerns given Dad’s history. But, that may not be a factor. For this round of IVF, James Bond is the primary donor. They’ll only use Cinderella if something goes wrong with James Bond’s vial. But, if this IVF does not work, and we end up going the route of egg donation, then it becomes a non-issue. Cinderella will be the donor for egg donation, and my family medical history no longer matters. I’ve already told the coordinators that I want them to screen for a history of colorectal cancer, and I will reiterate that once we know we are going that route.

And who knows, maybe James Bond will pull it out in the end. He has one last chance to get the girl, as it were, before he has to give up the field to Cinderella. So, like the heroines of the Rom-Coms, I will trust in my friends’ advice and leave it up to the fates to decide who I “end up” with!