So, as everyone celebrated American independence this past
weekend, I was celebrating the start of the process that will essentially rob
me of my independence for at least 18 years (well, more like forever, I guess!).
Last week, on July 3rd, I had my first consultation with the doctor
who I am hoping will be able to help me get pregnant. For the purposes of
anonymity, I’m going to go all “Men in Black” and call him Dr. K. It was a
really good visit (you know, other than the god-awful transvaginal ultrasound.
Damn!). By the end he was pretty confident that we could start the process
right away. So, things have moved from conceptual to possible conception in the
proverbial blink of an eye.
This is definitely a little fast, so I have decided that I
will wait until August to try the Intra-Uterine Insemination (IUI) for the
first time. I’ve only been back from South America for two weeks, and hadn’t
anticipated being at this place so soon. A week after I got back (on June 27th),
I got in touch with my regular GYN, Dr. W., to schedule my annual and get the
contact information for the Reproductive Endocrinologist. The very next day, I talked to their office
and they offered me an appointment that Monday (7/1). I pushed it to Wednesday
since I had to collect my records from Dr. W. But, to be honest, I was kind of
shocked – I had thought it would take a couple of weeks at least to get the
initial consultation. Was it too soon? Well, considering that when I hung up I
did a little dance of joy, then I’d say no. The timing is exactly right.
The timing also has another odd little connection. Six years
ago, to the day, Mom had her surgery at Sloan Kettering for uterine cancer. I
still remember watching the 4th of July fireworks from her hospital
room over the East River. It’s just happenstance, I’m sure, that my appointment
came on that day, but it is a kind of odd coincidence.
Especially given that the nature of Mom’s cancer is one of
the reasons I want to do this sooner rather than later – well, that, and the
fact that I’m not getting any younger!
The appointment ended up being almost two hours. We talked
about a lot of the questions that I had, including whether there was a
preference for “local” sperm versus “shipped” sperm – a issue for me, for
reasons I’ll get into in a later post. Thankfully, he said shipping is not an
issue at all, and gave me a list of recommended banks. Again, in later posts,
I’ll talk more about the selection process, but Erika and I spent some time
checking out the different labs online. It really is a fascinating process. I
think I’ve narrowed it to two labs, California Cryobank and Fairfax Cryobank,
two of the ones most recommended by the nurse.
The next step is to narrow the field and then, on August 3,
I will be having a donor party. Yep, I’m going to have a few select friends
over to review profiles and choose a top three. Then I’ll make the final
decision on my own. Then it’s ordering and shipping. This is an expensive
process, so I need to be careful with the number of vials I order, etc.
Insurance won’t cover that. Plus, since I’m so new to the insurance, and I
don’t have medical fertility issues, my office visits aren’t covered either. I
actually read an article today that said some people use Crowdfunding sites to
raise money for this stuff, but I’m not prepared to do that. I’m playing this
close to the vest until it’s a fait accompli.
I mentioned a Sign From Above in the title, and that refers
to a moment I had on Friday night (July 5th). Up at Friends Lake, I
took Cali and Brooke out to go to the bathroom. As we walked out onto the dock,
I happened to glance up and I saw a shooting star streak across the sky. It was
so unexpected, all I could think was that it was Mom and Dad, telling me this
was all OK. It’s not that I have doubts,
because I don’t. This is something I’ve thought about and planned for a long
time. But just feeling like they were sending me their love at this crucial
point meant everything to me. I’m going to need a lot of their love and
support, even from afar, as I move forward. It’s good to know they’re watching
over me and my future child.
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